Congrats – you are here and reading this blog! It shows that you have already conquered the first step of refining yourself and adding a finesse’ to your socialization skills. This will really help you a lot in showcasing you bright and best side in front of others. For many people socialization is a very easy kind of a thing, but for others it’s too grueling and hellish. So… what are the qualities that you need in order to socialize well and easily? Trust me these tricks are not that difficult to carry out. With a bit of practice and mindfulness you can be the star of the show and steal the show. Here are some ways through which you can really improve your socialization skills and become a social bug soon:

Know Yourself

The first and foremost reason why many people fail in effective socializing is the fact that they don’t know themselves well. Only when you know yourself well, you can reflect yourself well before others. Starting from your likes-dislikes, tastes-preferences, and hobbies-favorites to life philosophy-ideals, strengths-weaknesses, and inspirations-aspirations…. Unless and until you know who you are, what is the purpose of your life, what are your unique qualities, how can you present yourself before others! The simple way to know you is to spend quality time with yourself, meditate and reflect about yourself, try to make good friends, talk to others and assess your thoughts, behaviors in social settings, develop insight regarding your achievements and loopholes. Know everything about your likes-dislikes, tastes-preferences, hobbies-favorites, life philosophy-ideals, strengths-weaknesses, inspirations-aspirations and each and everything related to you.

The more you know about you, easier it will be for you to socialize and showcase yourself.

Be yourself

Another reason of failing to socialize or failing to make that “first impression” is that we try to mimic others. We want to be like “him” or “her”. But, why is that needed? Hey, trust me you yourself are so unique and important! Rather than mimicking others, try to create and reflect your own unique self and identity. How about creating your own style statement, personality dynamics so that others will follow you? Sounds great, right? Yes, guys…doesn’t matter who we are, where we are, what we are…the most important thing that you should know is you are unique, you are important and no other person can take your place in this entire world. So try to understand this and keep forth the best of yourself before others.

Body Language

The way you walk, stand, talk, eat and sit… Each and every gesture and posture of yours speaks volumes about you. Don’t get afraid. As I said before, you are unique. So no matter how you walk, sit or eat… try to do it in your own way. The way that suits you best and in a way it fits into the ethical standard too. You can achieve good and genuine kind of gestures and postures through regular practice and self-reflection. Try looking into the mirror and assess your gestures and postures. If you yourself do not like it, then how will others like that? If you feel that a certain body language is not right, then you can always practice and set it right. There are a plenty of online and offline help available for personality development. Once you start working towards personality development either by yourself or through a professional’s help you will change for good from tip to toe.

Your attire

I had a client who had severe social anxiety. It was aggravated when her mother forced her to wear stuff that was too body revealing. Gradually her anxiety was so aggravated that she had panic attacks in a party and had to be hospitalized for several days at a stretch. I hope you would not like to be in such a situation. Most of us get worried about what to wear and what not to wear in a social setting. The best way to decide is to follow the LOC method. The acronym LOC stands for Location Occasion and Company. First know about where you are going, what kind of a place is it. If it’s a posh city then you can wear your chunky-funky kind of attire, but if it’s a remote village then you need to dress sober. Then you need to know about the occasion. Obviously, the dress for a birthday party and a funeral ceremony would be different, right? So this is quite easy to understand. The final thing you need to know is about your company or the kind of people you would be meeting at a social event. If its youngsters or people of your age then you can dress accordingly, if it’s a meeting with delegates and important persons then a formal wear would work. Many parties also have their dress codes too. For e.g.: Halloween parties, prom nights, get-together, etc. sometimes have their own dress codes. So you can always enquire about these LOC factors beforehand so that you can present yourself accordingly.

Handling comments and criticisms

Whew! This can be a challenging thing for you if you are quite sensitive towards comments and criticisms. Since people have different experiences, expectations, views, stereotypical thinking and perceptions…you may need to hear stuff that may not appeal you. I know it may hurt you because no one of us would like to hear bad stuff about ourselves. If you find yourself in such a situation, then just take a deep breathe and think. If you are comfortable with the way you are, if you are following the social norms and ethical reasons, if you are a genuine human being then no need to feel bad for yourself. People will say good and bad things for you. It’s quite natural. It is a basic human nature. But, you should not be taken aback. I follow a simple trick here. When someone speaks ill of me, I do selective listening and hearing. I hear all the stuff, listen to the ones that are actually meant for my betterment, I try to implement them too and expel the rest of the bad or hurtful words I hears. This is amazingly effective. If you cannot shut hundred mouths, at least you can shut your ears and mind towards those. Sometimes changing your perspective changes your world!

So, these were some of the important socialization skills. With regular practice you would certainly do good. But, if socialization becomes too anxiety provoking, nervousness provoking, uncomfortable or overwhelming for you, then probably you would be experiencing social anxiety.

Always ready to help you.

Best wishes,

Sareeta