A Guide to Personality Development and Modification

Have you wondered why are some people shy, some are aggressive, some are sweet while others are daring? Do you remember how naughty you were in your childhood and now you have groomed yourself into a definite personality? We all have the same kind of flesh and blood, but why do we have different thoughts, behaviors and personality styles??? Well, since time immemorial scholars and researchers have been trying to answer such innumerable questions related to human personality. If you want to know how your personality develops, if you have a child and want to build his/her personality in a worthwhile manner or if you are someone who himself wants to have a dashing n charming personality…. you are at the right place. This blog will tell you how your personality develops over a period of time, vies of some noted personality theorists and how personality can be shaped in a meaningful and genuine way.

It is believed that the foundation stone of personality is laid down in the womb itself. That is why the saying goes “Like, father, like son”. When a woman is pregnant she is asked to see pictures of happy child, pictures of noted dignitaries or great men, listen and watch good things, think positive and stay away from stress…Isn’t it? It is because the baby that is growing inside her womb will be like that too. So this is the first step towards personality building and development.

Sigmund Freud (I guess you have heard this name before also). He was a famous Psychologist and is well known for his Psychoanalytic Theory of Personality. He opined that personality develops from the early childhood days. Starting from breast-feeding to entering the threshold of maturation one goes through several phases of personality development. He named this as “Psycho-sexual Stages of Development”. If certain behavior is too less or too much gratified then it will lead to serious psychological issues in future. Technically it is known as “Fixation”. This may also have a negative impact on one’s personality. That’s why it is ideal to gratify needs and reinforce behaviors up to a certain limit and in moderation. Too much or too less of anything can be hazardous. Here is a presentation of the different stages of personality development, which part of the body is dominant at each stage, its functions and how fixation can cause psychological issues:

Stage

Age Range

Erogenous zone

Consequences of psychological fixation
Oral Birth–1 year Mouth This has two sides:Orally aggressive individuals resort to chewing gum and the ends of pencils, etc.
Orally Passive persons resort to smoking, eating, kissing, oral sexual practices, etc.
Oral stage fixation might result in a passive, gullible, immature, manipulative personality.
Anal 1–3 years Bowel and bladder elimination The Anal retentive personality is one that makes a person Obsessively organized, or excessively neat
Anal expulsive personality is one that makes a person: reckless, careless, defiant, disorganized, coprophiliac
Phallic 3–6 years Genitalia Oedipus complex (in boys and girls); Oedipus was a Greek character who loved his mother and hated his father. One day due to this he killed his father. When he realized his act he blinded himself. In Oedipus complex the person will have the fear of castration by other others.In this stage children are mostly attracted towards opposite sex parents. That is why a boy dresses up like his father to impress his mom and other peers. He tries to shave, comb his hair like his father. Similarly a girl spends much time in front of the mirror trying to dress up like her mom, in an impressive manner.
Latency 6–puberty Dormant sexual feelings Sexual unfulfillment if fixation occurs in this stage.
Genital Puberty–and onwards Sexual interests mature Frigidity, impotence, unsatisfactory relationships

 

If you are already fixated with some psychological issue or fixation behavior mentioned above, then with effective psychotherapy help you can get rid of these fixations. If you are a parent or relative who is beginning to see fixation behaviors within your children or ward then it is high time to intervene, look out for where things are too less or more gratified and make gradual changes accordingly.

Some personality theorists say that personality is like a flower that opens its petals when the time is ripe. I have seen many people who try to force themselves or their future generations to literally run in this competitive world. I would request them to take a deep breath and hold on for a moment. Personality is one of the best ornaments that you are adorned with. If you use it and nurture it in a well-balanced way, then it will make you shine. If you will try to stretch and scratch then it will make you look ugly and emotionally wounded. So whoever you are, in whichever part of the world you are reading this blog…. please accept and respect yourself, believe that you are unique. Try to understand that your future generation also has its own uniqueness and pre-programmed timing to develop and grow.

Therefore, build your personality into an impressive and worthwhile manner. Let it shine and help other shine too. If you are interested in knowing more about the development of your personality, then check out my next blog post.

Best wishes,

Sareeta