Fights, commenting on each other, keeping quiet and walking away, staying away from each other for days at a stretch…Communication problem in a relationship can make it a worse thing and an overwhelming experience to bear. Believe me or not, when you cannot communicate properly in a relationship, it can land in hell. Whether you have a gift of the gab or you don’t like to exercise your tongue much, if you don’t know the skills of effective communication in a relationship, it can turn out to be meaningless. Of course, when you truly respect your partner and are honest in your relationship you can communicate in a genuine manner. There is no doubt in it. But, if you talk or behave wrongly at the wrong time then your words and behavior can be easily misinterpreted. This is the biggest cause of many heartbreaks, relationship disharmony and marital discord. So, if you want you relationship to sustain, then you need to know the dynamics and significance of communication in a relationship.

Errors in Communication in Relationships:

These are some of the common errors one does in communicating his/her emotions/feelings/words or opinions:

  • Wrong time entry: Try not to speak or do something when the time is not ripe. Suppose your partner is in a very bad mood. If you will speak something at that time (no matter how important it is) it will not sink into your partner’s mind. This is a true fact.
  • Insensitive words: Uttering of words that hurt or words that your partner does not like can increase the distance between both of you. So try not to speak words that your partner is highly sensitive to, has a bad past related to that word, does not like or gets hurt by it.
  • Inappropriate behavior: When you enter into a relationship the first thing you need to know is the likes and dislikes of your partner. His/her personality style and coping skills are also important aspects to know about. Knowing about these dimensions will help you know the appropriate ways of pacifying your partner during odd and even times. Therefore, inappropriate behavior at wrong times or situations can make all your communication efforts go in vain.

Now let’s look at some of the barriers in effective communication in relationships:

  • The “Ego Clash”: Do not let your ego come in between you and your partner. This is the most deadly weapon that can kill your relationship. Each and everyone love to safeguard their egos and puff up in their ego. This is quite natural. But, this does not work out in a relationship. Try to keep your ego aside in your relationship. In fact, there is a thin line between ego and self-esteem. Both are two sides of the same coin. Self-esteem is a positive value and virtue while Ego is a negative quality. It is important to develop a good level of self-esteem and not a bad amount of ego.
  • Third Party Interference: When there is a misunderstanding between you and your partner, both of you ought to find out the solution. The more people you involve in your relationship issue-resolution the more problem you will face in communication. Hope you know the famous saying: “Too many cook, spoil the broth”. This is exactly what happens when you allow a third person to act as a mechanic to mend your relationship. No guys! This is not the right way. You can take the help of your family or friends. But, only to a minimal extent. Do not let their opinions or mindsets bias your mature level of thinking. Final decision and action should be by both of you i.e you and your partner.
  • Confidentiality Breach: If your partner does not like his/her issues to be shared with others, then do not do the same. I have seen many unnecessary problems cropping up between couples due to this. If you need someone’s advice then you can do so. But, not at the stake of your partners emotions.

How to improve commication in your relationship:

  • Stay calm and composed first
  • Do not let your ego come in between
  • Do not let issues brooding over a long period of time. Try to sort out issues as soon as possible and in an appropriate manner
  • Steps should be taken from both the sides. If anyone of you would be sacrificing for your relationship, then this is not fair guys. Relationship takes two people to make it, and two of you to make it a happy, fulfilling lifetime journey.
  • Communicate in a way your partner likes. If she loves flowers, then say it with flowers. If he likes letters, then pen down your words to him. Just recognize and understand your partner well. You will automatically get millions of ways to reach your partner’s heart.
  • Last but not the least, if nothing works…go and give a tight hug to your partner. Say your heart out. This will surely melt all negative junk in your relationship.

It takes persistent efforts to create and sustain a relationship. It takes just a second to break it and part ways. If you truly love your beloved then both of you should take equal steps ahead to clear all misunderstandings, communication problems and ultimately land in each other’s arms.

Best Wishes,

Sareeta